Episode 18 Transcript:
Need Hope for 2021? Kelly Stamps, 1 am Spicy Fries, Cheeky Memes, & Other Underrated Shenanigans That Inspire Me to Continue Living into the New Year
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(Scroll down to the bottom for mental health resource links)
Good morning y buenos dias. To my lovely friends all over the world welcome to the Noggin Podcast, a cozy mental health advocacy podcast with me, Kyarra Keele. It genuinely means so much to me that you’re here.
On this podcast we provide a safe, loving space advocating for diverse mental health dialogue in the community for people of color, educating about marginalized mental illnesses, and providing resources for mental health recovery. If that's what you’re looking for, welcome home.
Hey, it's Kyarra! Where I live in the universe, New York, it is currently Christmas Eve and from my typical perusing on the internet, I'm noticing that many of you are feeling sad and alone right now as we approach Christmas and New Years'. In fact, I'd make an inference that since you’re here with me right now, you are most likely here for one of three reasons.:
Reason #1, you saw the title and like me, you enjoy partaking in 1:00 a.m. french fry eating especially if said french fries involve a secret sweet and spicy garlic sauce with cilantro, so here you are. Reason #2: You saw the title & perhaps appreciate what a zesty youtube icon Kelly Stamps is, (as you should) so here you are (if some reason, you are not acquainted with the lovely, hermosa YouTube creator, tiramisu lover, and spatula wielding Kelly Stamps, I implore you to change that immediately) if I had to summarize how I feel about Kelly Stamps, I would say pick up a dictionary, leaf through the pages until you get to the E section of the alphabet and boldly printed under the word 'excellence" you will find Kelly Stamps as the definition. As a fellow introverted, minimalistic black woman and sarcastic creative, I celebrate her, I am a student at Stampede university and I'm guessing some of you are as well but we'll discuss more of that later. Reason número tres, you may just be feeling rather sad today and wanting a reason not to give up on existing and living in the upcoming 2021. But of course, the zestiest of you, chose all of the above on this multiple choice, so you're present for the lovely iconic Kelly Stamps, homemade french fry eating, and listening to the other shenanigans that keep me alive and prevent me from uninstalling myself from the app store of life, in which case I think you'll enjoy this episode very much.
Yesterday we made it to celebrating one year of compassionate and cozy mental health advocacy on this podcast and I’m deeply grateful for that. This episode is the season finale of the year, we’ll be taking a season break as I finish writing my next book that will be published in a few months and we’ll be returning in the new year with a new microphone for better audio quality and a few other lovely surprises. If you would like to support my cozy, comforting mental health advocacy and help me invest in a better mic for this podcast and transition from seasonal to year-round production, you can become one of my beautiful Patreon supporters at: patreon.com/thenogginpodcast
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Or you can donate through anchor.fm/thenogginpodcast/support. I deeply appreciate any support, you truly help me to have the flexibility to continue creating cozy and empowering mental health content for you and for those who need it most in this swirling universe, so thank you so much. Even if you can’t donate, sharing this podcast link to support others would mean the world to me.
If you’re curious to learn a little bit about me and why I’m so passionate about cozy mental health advocacy, there's a little snippet at the end of this episode & for my deaf and hard of hearing community there are transcripts on the official noggin podcast website so you can follow along with written text, if you’d like.
This episode is intended to be fairly light-hearted and will incorporate touches of sarcasm or zesty humor because that's my personality, but I do want to be clear and give a gentle trigger warning here that at its core this episode seeks to progress the dialogue about creative ways of coping with suicidal ideation for those who live with mental struggles long term but may feel more hopeless and suicidal during the holidays or close to the New Year transition. As with most good things in the universe, this episode is inspired by none other than the iconic black hole of Reddit. I love Reddit because it serves us an unfiltered glimpse into what people truly feel and think but are too afraid to ever say out loud. It serves us diverse perspectives and life hacks to become more resourceful human beings.
Most importantly it somehow manages to impressively balance between questionable or outright problematic behavior that makes you lose faith in humanity for a second and then incorporates just enough uplifting community and wholesome roasting to help you see the best of humanity. Anyway, a few months ago I discovered a Reddit post titled: “Formerly suicidal Redditors what something that kept you alive a little while longer and helped you get through dark times in your lives” This post had nearly 19 thousand comments.
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Many of these individuals commented years ago, sometimes in their teenage misery or early twenties and at the time of their post, they lived in profound distress and pain. Some of these same people now have families and children. They’ve traveled the world or graduated with diplomas and degrees, went to trade schools, or started businesses. They’ve found themselves found a sense of joy and happiness and purpose which they thought would absolutely never happen. This dialogue meant so much to me, and I wanted to do my part to continue this much-needed conversation because the hardest part of my mental health struggle is knowing that someone else in the world is also feeling the same hurt.
I use dry humor to discuss the painful elements of mental health journeys because that's how I've learned to stay alive. I believe that not all mental health content needs to be solemn or sad, in fact, discussing mental health only in a formal and stiff manner could potentially be a disservice because that’s not always relatable and it’s already uncomfortable without formality. Most people I know who are progressing in healing from their struggle with mental health use humor as a coping mechanism and find it cathartic to ease the intense pain they sometimes feel. I truly believe that if you don't laugh, you cry and while there's absolutely nothing wrong with partaking in the occasional ugly cry on the floor, I'd personally much rather cope through sarcasm, smirking at relatable depression memes, and other similar nonsense.
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This episode is not going to tell you to drink some water or go on a walk or exercise to cope with your suicidal ideation, because you already know to invest in your self care, I don't have to tell you that and also I know, it's incredibly irritating to hear that constantly. Please do note though, that the underrated, creative coping mechanisms I’ll be sharing are not a replacement for seeking professional help. These little jewels are suggestions to use in addition to receiving professional help and utilizing other healthy coping tools to help keep your will to live ignited.
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If you are in a really rough place mentally or don’t feel like you can stay safe, please check out some of my thoughtfully chosen crisis resource links in the description of this episode or on the transcript on The Noggin Podcast website or you can listen directly to Episode 4 where I offer many thoughtful crisis resources for text, online chat, and call that I’ve researched thoroughly or used personally so you can have someone to talk to even if you only feel comfortable texting. If you’re interested in other affordable mental health resources, free mental health apps, or online therapy, definitely explore other episodes on this podcast such as 2, 3, 6, and 9.
I truly want this message to reach and empower as many lovely humans as possible but I definitely cannot do it all on my own, as I’m just one human, so please take a second just to share this link with other people in your life who need to hear this message. Thank you so much for helping me spread the love.
Alright, let me begin sharing some underrated ways I make myself feel better when everything seems awful and feel inspired to stay to live to make the most of another day.
#1 Enjoying cheeky and humorous content creators that make your day better: The two zesty creatives that I’ve appreciated the most this year in terms of making me laugh and instantly improving any rough mental health day would be the iconic Kelly Stamps on Youtube and comedian Caitlin Rielly who’s hilarious skits I also found on Youtube but I’m sure she’s on other platforms as well. My favorite Kelly Stamps video is obvious...can you guess? The correct answer is D) All of the above, because every Kelly Stamps video makes me happy and I’m proud of her, regardless of the fact that I don’t even know her. I love to see a fellow black woman win and she’s got zest, so I support her all the way. If you aren’t already acquainted with her, I won’t even try to describe her channel, I just encourage you to explore for yourself the next time you could use a smile.
My favorite Caitlin Rielly Rielly video...oof...would probably be any of the LA Mom skits especially the one titled “LA Mom’s Train of Thought Keeps Getting Interrupted”. That video makes me awkwardly smile to myself randomly during the day even if I haven't watched the video for a week and that’s when you know it’s quality content. Both of these creators get my 5-star yelp review.
#2: Spicy mental health memes: If I didn’t include a word of gratitude for memes, I think this entire episode would be askew. How can I articulate how much memes are crucial to my mental health…? Memes are like my daily emotional multivitamin. They give me hope, make me laugh when nothing else can and they help me remind me that even in my darkest misery that millions of other humans clearly also understand what I’m going through. From my perspective, there are only two types of humans in this world: Those who if they're thinking of you will send you a cute “Hey I miss you” text and then you have beings like me who will just send a cheeky meme at an odd hour of the day or night as a way of expressing their love. You know? Shoutout to the cheeky meme senders in my life, you make me happy.
#3: Laundry: Laundry has saved my life on multiple occasions. I don't know if anyone of you has ever experienced this but I did see a few people on Reddit discussing it. Sometimes when I feel like giving up, I’ll suddenly remember that I have unwashed laundry waiting to be done in my laundry basket, and maybe it’s due to my personality or it’s a cultural influence from growing up in a strict household with black parents but with my upbringing and appreciation for cleanliness, the thought of me leaving the universe with unwashed laundry in my closet mortifies me so badly that it buys me time to reconsider. I’ll tell myself, “Okay, I’ll wash these loads of laundry, put them in the dryer, hang them or fold and if I still feel the way that I felt before, then we'll go from there. But usually, by the time I've sorted, washed, dried, and folded all of the clothes, I'm too tired to act impulsively. It buys me time to reconsider so I can try to find a healthier and less extreme solution for how I’m feeling.
#4 Partaking in 1 am Homemade French Fry Extravaganzas:
As a seasoned insomniac, I notoriously experience oddly specific late-night cravings. Now, french fries, in general, are not an odd craving, but last night I specifically wanted to create the ultimate sweet & spicy garlic cilantro french fry which was strange because 1)I rarely buy or make french fries 2) I’ve certainly never eaten french fries of that specific flavor palette. And yet, I am here to report that this is a quality savory snack. I accidentally brainstormed this because I had the munchies and I couldn’t decide between salty and sweet so I figured why not both? Long story short, I thew 2 thinly sliced potatoes in a skillet with a little oil, impatiently waiting for them to turn into the golden brown, crispy shoestring fries that dreams are made of, and became curious about adding a little sugar to balance out the sea salt I was planning to use. A quick google search informed me that apparently, I’m late to the party because Mcdonalds and Wingstop have been scheming with our health putting sugar in our fries all along.
So, I had some garlic powder, sea salt, a sprinkle of azucar (sugar), un poquito de limon, some smoked paprika, and a drizzle of hot sauce. I am actually a newbie to buying hot sauce, I enjoy spicy food but I just never grew up with hot sauce and recently discovered the joy of Burman’s hot sauce from Aldi, about 1.99 and it changed my life, I’m not exaggerating. This episode is not sponsored by Burman’s hot sauce but if they’d like to support compassionate mental health advocacy, I’d love to work together. Anyway, the point is that making homemade fries with a creative flavor palette is good for my mental health, and I highly recommend it.
Before we continue to the rest of the underrated shenanigans that inspire me to continue living, let’s take a super quick break to do our tradition here on this podcast: the noggin nurturing segment where we pause from the episode to do one thing to nurture and invest in ourselves as I always say as a plant collector. I've learned that much like plants our minds need gentle encouragement. So let's use this noggin nurturing segment to motivate ourselves to get out of bed if it's the morning where you are or just do something kind for yourself. I know its difficult to get out of bed or keep going when the things that usually make you feel better may no longer be helping you to cope and maintain or thrive which is why I’m here with this episode to refresh you with some new ideas, but for our break, you can make yourself a cozy cup of tea, make a phone call to someone you love or make that brave phone call to make your first or next counseling appointment. You could journal, make your to-do list for the day, or if you're our medication you could use this time to take your meds. If you're in the car on public transit commuting, you can still participate, so don't worry!
I'd like you to make a pledge to yourself of what you'll do to nurture yourself as soon as you finish your commute. I truly understand sometimes that even the most simple tasks can feel like they take all of your energy so please pick a task that's gentle and kind to your body and mind. Just pick one small action and hold yourself accountable for that. You're doing your best and I acknowledge that and that's okay, we're all out here just trying to do our best for myself to celebrate the noggin nurturing segment, I’m going to look for a recipe to try making a vegan cinnamon roll inspired skillet cake on the stove because I discovered stovetop skillet cakes recently and it sounds like both a potential disaster and an amusing and delicious challenge for me to try after I finish recording this episode for you! Have any of you ever made skillet cakes? Either way, comment below to share with me and everyone in our home how you'll be spending the break for the noggin nurturing segment.
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The Noggin Podcast is brought to you today by Anchor. A service I actually use. The anchor app is the easiest way to make a podcast, ever. It's the only app that lets you record a high-quality podcast, and distribute it everywhere (including Google Podcasts and Apple Podcasts) – all in one place. No fancy equipment or podcasting experience necessary, and even better than all of that, it’s 100% free! I’ve tried plenty of other podcast editing apps that make it a headache to import and export your audio files but Anchor’s intuitive platform makes it nice and easy.
Bueno, bienvenidos and welcome back!
#5 on the list of shenanigans that inspire me to continue living into 2021 is:
Icecream for breakfast: Now, hold on. Let me explain. I went through a time when I had just begun an incredibly intense and stressful job, trying to graduate with a 25 credit course load in one academic quarter (It’s all over now, I have a new job and graduated with my 3 degrees) going through medications changes...etc and depression was just being disrespectful and making it difficult to get out of bed or do any of the thing we call life.
And when I look back on it, one of the positive memories I have of underrated coping mechanisms that helped me not give up was that for about 2 weeks I allowed myself to savor a vegan ice cream bar for breakfast as a way to motivate myself to get out of bed, take a shower, take my meds, and then reward myself with the moderate, healthy portion of something yummy that I genuinely loved (which was mint chocolate chip vegan ice cream) I still had to be disciplined and only allow myself to indulge in the ice cream for breakfast if I followed certain guidelines such as getting out of bed by 7 am or taking my meds by the proper time (I also usually ate a little bit of something more nutritious shortly after the ice cream) but this truly helped give me something to smile about and look forward to because it felt like a little special secret.
This is not a long term solution and this is obviously not the healthiest solution because sugar does not exactly cultivate excellent mental health. I don’t want to convey that food should be used to constantly comfort you through mental illness but if you’re 99% dedicated to consistently using healthy coping mechanisms and eating icecream is the 1% that’s not perfectly healthy but makes you smile every morning so you can celebrate a little spark of joy to keep existing, then, by all means, start a few mornings with an indulgent treat you normally wouldn’t allow yourself to eat and just savor it!
#6 Sitting at the bottom of the shower: I don't know how many of you do this so please let me know if I’m not alone but from a fairly young age I found deep comfort from relaxing at the bottom of the shower, in the tub for a moment with the warm water running over me. To be clear, I now only do this if I live alone so I know exactly when I cleaned the tub myself and no one else’s germs are there. But sometimes you just don't have the energy to stand up, on a difficult day but you don’t want to run a bath, so just letting the water rain down on your head and through your hair and rolling down your face, the slope of your neck and your shoulders... washing all of the pain, stress, and sorrow down the drain...It's a very powerful feeling.
Depending on how your shower is set up, you can recline against the slope of the tub wall, let the warm water rain over you and breathe in the steam to relax. In the same way we need physical cleansing, sometimes we need a calm, mental cleanse as well. I’m not sure if I’m strange for doing this but it comforted me during some painful moments years ago and it’s stuck with me over the years as a gentle coping mechanism.
#7. Painting my toenails my signature color: Now, the thing is, I never paint my fingernails. But for some reason that I still don’t understand, when I paint my toenails I feel like I have my life together. It genuinely boosts my confidence and joy in such a noticeable way that now I have this routine, usually on a Sunday morning, of moisturizing and painting my toes with my signature zesty red with a glossy coat. My world could be falling apart, but at least my toes aren’t ashy, you know? That makes me feel better. Similarly, putting on your favorite perfume, cologne, or essential oils can also make a tremendous difference in your mood and that’s nice because it’s super low effort, even less than painting your toenails would be.
#8 Reset naps: As adults, I truly believe we underestimate the power of a nap to reset our minds and help keep us alive and sane. I can't tell you how many times I've just felt absolutely terrible, in ways that I could never fully describe, and sometimes just a brief nap would noticeably shift my mood in a positive direction. I’d go to sleep feeling like everything was too much, and I’d wake up and realize that the problems are still there but they always work out in the end and many of the stressors that we spend so much time worrying about, don’t even end up mattering in the long term when we look back on that timeframe. It could be a relationship, a toxic job, a stressful college experience...and when I wake up from my nap, I remind myself that 1 year from now, 5 years from now, I will be in a completely different space physically and mentally and the things that make me ugly cry now, I’ll probably laugh or shrug about in a year.
I'm not one of those people that can take a 30-minute power nap. I admire very much any of you who can do that. I need to nap for at least 45 minutes to an hour to feel any sort of a shift but do what’s best for you and your schedule. Even if you can't fall asleep just closing your eyes and curling up in the blankets for a little bit can be a very kind gift to give to yourself. There’s no shame, it doesn’t matter your age or gender. Taking a 1-2 hour nap when you feel like giving up on life could end up being a positive choice you look back on and are grateful for. I know I’m grateful that I took a lot of naps instead of giving up permanently.
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The final underrated component that inspires me to keep living in 2021 is:
#8 Making other people feel loved and understood: Yes, it’s a little cheesy. But it’s true. When we use our own pain and experiences as fuel to look out for others and give kindness and gentleness so that other individuals around us don’t have to feel the same pain, everyone wins. We can take care of ourselves and be kind to ourselves while uplifting others in the process. On my worst days, I always remember that someone else, maybe far away, maybe not so far, is feeling the same hurt deep inside. If you are that person feeling the same hurt, feeling exhausted, discouraged, and maybe profoundly alone, just know that I pour my love into this podcast for you. I wrote this for you. I recorded it for you. I’ll never be able to express through words how deeply I care. But I hope you know that I do care.
I’m choosing to keep doing my best and not uninstall myself from the app store of life. I have a long way to go, but grateful to be so much better now and happier now than I ever thought I could be 10 years ago or even 6 months ago. I had to learn to laugh, I had to learn that it truly never is too late to change your life unless you tell yourself that you can’t change. I had to get out of my own way and practice incorporating silly things like ice cream for breakfast to continue living. I genuinely hope you’ll stay with me and keep trying with me. I can’t wait for the start of our new season here on the Noggin Podcast coming up.
If you want to pass this love along to other people you care about who may be struggling so that we can support each other and look out for each other to continue, please share the link to this episode or podcast and if anyone you know could use some thoughtful crisis resources you can share the ones in the description or explore my other resource episodes.
If you enjoyed and valued this cozy episode and would love to support me in creating even better empowering mental health content when we return for the new season, you can donate at: patreon.com/the noggin podcast or anchor.fm/thenoggin podcast/support. Thank you so much.
If you’re looking for transcripts to follow along and read while you listen, especially for my lovely deaf and hard of hearing community: I do provide transcripts for all episodes on the Noggin Podcast website.
The very last thing: If you already know me you can skip these 40 seconds and just head to the end of this episode, but if you are new here and you’ve never stumbled across me before, pleasure to meet you. Again, my name is Kyarra Keele. Aside from being the host of this podcast, I'm a four-time published author, I was a healthy lifestyle blogger for six years and I am an aspiring polyglot currently learning four languages which are Spanish American Sign Language French, and Arabic. I was a mental health ambassador working as a liaison between the community and local health center to educate and support and progress the mental health dialogue and I've been navigating the mental health system for about a decade.
Now I'm just extremely passionate about mental health service and advocacy because I believe that no one deserves to be hurting or feeling alone in this universe. I hope that my compassionate podcast will cheer you along on your good days and offer a cozy and supportive haven for you on your more difficult days.
If you made it here to the conclusion of this episode, I’d like to say thank you so much. Muchisimas gracias. If you’re interested in learning more information about The Noggin Podcast you can visit our website and subscribe to be a part of our cozy home with new episode releases every other Monday morning. See you in the next episode! Nos vemos en el próximo episodio.
Resources Below <3
If you are in a really rough place mentally or don’t feel like you can stay safe, please know that I genuinely care <3 I gently encourage you to seek professional help; Here are some of my thoughtfully chosen crisis resource links or warmline peer support for text, online chat, and call that I’ve researched thoroughly or used personally so you can have someone to talk to even if you only feel comfortable texting. Episode 4 offers my more detailed review of testing crisis support and if you’re interested in other affordable mental health resources, free mental health apps, or affordable online therapy, definitely explore other episodes on this podcast! I frequently post affordable mental health resources on my zesty Twitter @Noggin_podcast
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Looking for black mental health support, affordable, inclusive therapy (Such as TherapyforBlackMen.org or Inclusive Therapists.com, POC self-care creatives to follow, or support groups for people of color? Listen to episode 19!
To learn how tater tots taught me 3 non-nonsense tips to protect my time, energy & mental health, listen to episode 20.
For advice on how to use humor to sass depression & find the momentum to accomplish day-to-day tasks & invest in your happiness (from me, a black woman who's been navigating severe depression episodes from my bipolar disorder for my 21 years of life) listen to episode 21!
For my cozy, comforting & soft-spoken loneliness guide with 22 underrated mental health resources & gentle rain ASMR, listen to episode 22.
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Crisis Text Line: Text CONNECT to 741741 (Confidential 24-hour support line for suicidal thoughts, grief, sadness, loneliness, relapse urges, etc) https://www.crisistextline.org/
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Veterans Crisis Line: Text a message to 838255 or call 1-800-273-8255. (For veterans/their families to connect with trained VA responders (Deaf and hard of hearing accommodations available) https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/ or Vets4Warriors https://www.vets4warriors.com/ (24/7 veteran peer-support text/call/email/chat, discussed in episode 22 but not in this episode)
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Support for my fellow Lgbt+/Queers: The Trevor Project https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ provides 24/7 crisis/suicide/mental health support over text, chat or call & the website offers helpful lgbt+/queer resources & info. TrevorText: Text START to 678678 or TrevorLifeline (1-866-488-7386) or TrevorChat: instant, online messaging with a Trevor counselor, 24/7
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Warmlines (Non-crisis trained peer mental health support) To find a national warmline or one local in your state: http://warmline.org/
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The California Peer-Run Warm Line is a non-emergency resource for emotional support via webchat. They provide support to anyone in need for help with interpersonal relationships, anxiety, panic, depression, finance, and alcohol and drug use...etc https://www.mentalhealthsf.org/peer-run-warmline/
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The National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA): For crisis, text "NEDA" to 741741, online chat or call: (800) 931-2237. The NEDA Helpline is available Monday-Thursday from 9AM to 9PM ET, and Friday from 9AM to 5PM ET for support, resources & treatment options for yourself or a loved one. Please leave a message for the Helpline if it is not currently available & they will respond as soon as possible. NEDA also has many free/low-cost online or in-person support groups for all types of eating disorders for all ages, races, & genders. Website: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org
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Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services and Administration (SAMHSA): Call 800-662-4357. A national 24/7 free & confidential number for referrals & information about mental and/or substance use disorders, prevention, treatment, and recovery in English and Spanish. Website: https://www.samhsa.gov/
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